Face or fix
This reaction, a sub-conscious process, is more usually seen with people who are emotionally connected. One of the couple (A) will be uneasy with seeing and holding their partner (B) in emotional pain so they will interrupt the process of emotional release and try to give fixing options, such as ‘if I was you’, ‘what you need to do’,’ let me sort it’ etc.
The person who cannot hold the pain (A) will try to disconnect the person trying to process the pain (B) so removing (A) from the emotional impact.
This will result in the person trying to process the emotion (B) in a feeling of being unheard or even worse they will store the pain and this will result in a build up for (B) over the period of the disconnection. If this carries on, the couple will not be able to talk about this issue and they will over time drift apart until all interactions of an emotional level will be off limits.
(A) will usually have grown up in an unemotional family grouping, so they will not be secure with talking emotionally or being emotional. Possibly some emotional trauma will have occurred in their life and this will sub-consciously stop them from interacting emotionally. The only real way through this would be to realize you are acting in this way, by discussing your feelings, and consciously talk about the emotions even if they hurt you personally or hurt you through your partner being hurt.
Hiding from them will only put off the inevitable or put the relationship between you both into terminal decline.
Seventh Ray on 20/09/2011