Perception or reality
All Human Beings work from a historical premise, that what we know, have learnt and understand informs our interaction within our world today, our "Perception" is our "Reality".
This way of understanding, the way the world works, is sometimes an issue for partners, as in that all of our perceptions are as individual as – ourselves. Even twins will have a completely different way of perceiving and interacting within their world. This difference is usually the reason why things, initially break down in relationships. We cannot seem to understand the other persons point of view because we have no experience to understand it, so we perceive it the way we think it is and we will always get it wrong. No ones perception will ever be "The Reality" as we all have different views. No one view will ever be the right one, it will be our reality but not "The Reality".
When we connect with another human being we have a relationship, whether it is at work, home, friend or sexual partner. In this relationship we communicate to understand each other, so we find a common reality. The reality in-between our individual realities, a shared view. This works fine as long as we keep checking it out and reframing it as things change. Our reality is always changing as the experiences we are having are always changing, minute on minute, day on day etc. It's when we stop checking out the changes, the other person’s perception, or the communication between them breaks down that we start using our individual perception to understand what is happening instead of asking for the other person's perception as well. So we have a piece missing to inform us of what is really going on. When we do this it inferswe know how the other person is feeling, what they want etc, It usually shows itself in statements like "You feel I am" Or "I think you are" etc using our perception to understand their reality. So the golden rule is "don't think talk" Ask don't Tell then you will always be working with The Reality not your reality.
Seventh Ray on 08/09/2010