The journey to oneself
The journey to oneself is never an easy one. I started wondering about this a few years ago now it was at a MBS show in Grimsby and a TV company was recording some of the trade stands and exhibitors attending the show. I was approached by the interviewer, who had a monkey on her arm, not a real one but a ventriloquist's dummy. She was a famous celeb and she came and had a conversation with me, through the Monkey one of the questions she asked was how could she find enlightenment the big E. I replied that she cannot find it in the hall as it is not out there but inside her and she had to locate her individual enlightenment as all were not the same. We had about a 20 minutes conversation on the same vein and she left to continue her way around the hall. When this came to the TV programme being aired on the BBC I was surprised that the big E question she had asked me was broadcast including my answer. I don't say this to swell my head just as a prerequisite to my starting to think more deeply about this question and my journey, which I will share with you on an on-going process throughout the year.
I first realised there was a journey when I went through a major unannounced change in my life; it really was a heart stopping moment. I started to look at all things I had belittled or been cynical about over the years around spirituality and started to open my eyes again, these had been firmly shut in my younger years by adults to anything which could not be scientifically proven. I started to reawaken the thoughts and connections I had had when I was younger which I could not understand or put into words and then I felt that inner power which I used to feel, the inquisitive surge which filled and fuelled me. I realised that I had never been one to be part of the group always an individual and sometimes bullied because of this, which I realised throughout this journey is a fact of life for most spiritual people. My intuitive self was starting to gain confidence and I started listening to it more and more, trusting it to guide me. I started to visit spiritual groups and churches but found politics and ego to be a part of those people and places, which does not resonate with me and I recoil from. I had conversations with myself at that time, in my mind, which I now know is not centred in my brain but in the wider consciousness and in fact I was talking to the universe. I said to myself that if I was going to progress then I could not do this in the way I had been and I would have to find someone who could show and teach me what I needed to know. Then, as often does a coincidence occurred, someone connected with me and heh presto they were also into spiritual aspects of life and had been all through their life, direction was occurring and I was being led by some guiding force. The many years I have spent around this wonderful Lady, who I shall name Mary, have helped me to grow and awaken my inner knowledge of spirit and how you can understand things which are not understandable.
I asked many questions in those first few years of our connection, realising that there was always more questions than answers and that I would never truly know so to stop asking questions and instead just be happy with what is Pooh Bear scenario.
I sensed more the more I looked, and I knew more the more I listened to myself, asking questions was never going to make me understand feeling it and knowing it from the inside was. I started to realise that I was me and that although others connected with me they would never see things the way I did and I could never see it from their perception, we were all different and as such all had different journeys. This stopped me having to try to be like others and more to be me and to be happy being me, I had truly begun again the journey I had stopped in my junior years when I could be comfortable in my own skin not bothered about fashion or fitting in. It was as though I had regressed and become the inquisitive child again. In those early days with my new friend she introduced me to other people and groups who again progressed my journey, the first one I am going to share now with you and as such start this journey. When I was contemplating this method of sharing my journey I thought how to do it, write another book or use my Seventhray site as an on-going blog building the story, so people who needed updates could log on and read the next instalment, and people who just found it could read it from the start. So here it is the first instalment I hope you enjoy it and it helps and encourages you to build your own journey down your spiritual path.
My first big lesson was that trust was the main component of this journey and that ego certainly got in the way of true enlightenment. The lady I mentioned earlier Mary attended MBS shows doing tarot readings around the country and abroad one day she said to me would I like to go with her to a local show and just see what happened and I could look at other things I might be interested in and talk to people who also were searching. I jumped at the chance so one wet Saturday I found myself immersed in another world with lots of other people who were individuals just like me and sitting next to my friend I watched her doing readings with the people who sat at her table, as she was well known there was always someone sat there and sometimes people waiting. Previously she had tried to teach me something about the tarot cards and I could never get it no matter how hard she tried, I couldn't remember what was what or what it meant. I tried to read the books that came with the cards but my eyes would not focus and all the words were blurred, eventually realising that spirit or upstairs as I call them were telling me not to read the books as they were just other peoples views on what they interpreted in the cards and I needed to do it my way, as always your own way is best. Well I was sat there and watched what Mary was doing a lady came up to her and said that she had been waiting and couldn't wait any longer Mary apologised and said that I was free if she wanted to see me.
You know when you realise something is being said but it's like a dream, a far off voice, and things around you start to slow down and then you hear your mouth uttering words which your brain did not make up, as I said ok no problem just like a seasoned reader. The lady indeed sat down in front of me expectantly looking at me for an understanding of her life which was in my hands, or the cards I was now passing to her, I swear from above I saw another me fall back off the chair and onto the floor gob smacked there I was talking to the lady in front of me asking her to shuffle the cards and pick 4 cards out of the pack. Although I had on numerous occasions done readings this way with Mary I had never done it with anyone I didn't know and never in public and there was I watching this person who looked like me but was more confident and calm than I could ever be. I took the 4 cards and started to tell her the story of her life as her mouth opened wider and wider with awe and disbelief, my journey of being a reader had started.
Seventh Ray on 01/02/2015